


Around the World In How Many Days Again?

by JayTDawgzone9999



Category: Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Beach Volleyball, Being Lost, Boats and Ships, Day At The Beach, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Smut, Minor Violence, Near Future, One Shot Collection, Outdoor Sex, Sailing, Scenarios, Snapshots, Stand Alone Chapters, Timeline Shenanigans, Travel, World Travel, dodgeball - Freeform, random scenarios
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:14:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22043908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayTDawgzone9999/pseuds/JayTDawgzone9999
Summary: A collection of random scenarios of things that will probably never happen.
Relationships: Asagiri Gen/Ishigami Senkuu, Hyouga/Momiji Homura, Kohaku/Mozu (Dr. STONE)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

After defeating Ibara and reviving as many people as possible (meaning those whose statues didn't get destroyed when they were petrified, at least,) Senku and everyone else he brought with him on his journey around the world to discover the cause of the petrification incident were more than ready to leave Treasure Island. Of course, the longer they traveled, the more likely it was they would encounter tough enemies and to that end, as many ambivalent feelings about it as he had, Senku did indeed revive everyone possible and recruited as many people as possible to join his journey, whether he liked them or not.

"See, this is what's wrong with other men, Hyoga." Senku heard Mozu's voice. 

"Oh?" Hyoga replied, clearly uninterested. 

Senku closed his eyes for a moment while he blinked. 

"That's it, Senku, nice and steady. In and out. In and out." Senku told himself as he tried to breathe regularly and not end up popping any blood vessels. It was only 15 hours until they reached their next stop, Senku reminded himself, putting nothing less than ten billion percent effort into ignoring Mozu and Hyoga's unfathomably stupid conversation (which was mostly Mozu's fault.) Not like he could do anything about it, Senku told himself. They needed more fighters, after all. 

"Boobs, boobs, boobs... that's all guys think about these days. Well, they're idiots. Show me a boob man and I'll show you a no-brain, no-class knuckle-dragger who knows nothing of the fairer sex.-" 

"You have 30 seconds to finish before I tell Kohaku about what happened when you saw that giant spider-" 

"Well then stop interrupting me! Anyways-" 

Senku squeezed his eyes shut until he begun to see fuzzy static between his eyes like what he saw on tv back in his old life when he accidentally flipped to that one channel that didn't work. In and out. In and out, he reminded himself. Popping a blood vessel on the ship where they were would ten billion percent a bad idea-

"Senku?" Gen, who had been chatting with old man Kaseki about something for a while, asked when he saw his boyfriend (they had only confessed their feelings to each other about 48 hours ago, give or take, but what did that matter,) clenching his teeth with his fist balled up against his side with his eyes squeezed shut. "What's wrong?" 

"Oh, Gen, it's you. For a moment I was worried it was someone stupid." Senku replied as Gen wrapped his big puffy cloak around him (Yuzuriha sewed one up for him several days ago.) 

"Like?" Gen ventured, not entirely sure if he wanted an answer but having a feeling that finding out would be inevitable so he might as well get it over with sooner rather than later.

" I don't get it; you can't take the measure of a cute girl just by ogling her chest. There are way more important things to consider, such as - aw, c'mon, are you even listening? I'm trying to drop some knowledge here-" Mozu went on, either oblivious or uncaring of Hyoga's complete and utter lack of interest in the topic at hand. 

Against his better judgment, Gen made the mistake of glancing behind Senku as quickly as possible, where he saw a squinty eyed martial artist who seemed to lack basic empathy for other people and a dangerously impulsive sex-crazed womanizer arguing about tits and ass, then turned back to Senku just as quickly, a slightly horrified look on his face.

"Don't tell me they've been going on about that for-" 

"37 minutes and 15.75 seconds." Senku mumbled, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. "Could you do me a favor and toss me overboard?"

"See, if you're enlightened like I am, then you know the real show is down below: the booty! That's where it's at! Nothing trumps the rump, my friend. Anyone who can't see that is either blind or a fool. That's why I say enough with this mass boob hysteria. It's time to set things right. It's time to give the ass the respect it deserves." Mozu, who had to at least had an inkling of an idea that Hyoga didn't give a shit, continued. 

Resisting the urge to glance back at the disaster occuring mere feet behind them, Gen noticed Francois out of the corner of his eyes and waved the butler over, asking them to get him and Senku a cup of Chamomile tea. 

"See, this bullshit is why so many women have been wronged for too long. Like poor XXXXXX, people only paid attention to her boobs! It's a fucking crime!" 

"Gen, what was that?" Senku asked Gen when he heard something that sounded disturbingly like a loud thump followed by a second slightly less loud thump behind him when Francois handed them each a cup of warm Chamomile tea. 

"I'm sure it was nothing important, someone probably just dropped something." Gen reassured Senku, kissing him on the forehead before drinking a sip of his tea. 

A few feet behind, them, Hyoga walked off to head to the lower deck, looking for Homura, ignoring Mozu, who flipped him the finger after Hyoga whacked him on the shoulder with the blunt end of his spear. 

Senku closed his eyes a moment, this time naturally. Gen's coat was nice and warm, and so was Gen. When he opened his eyes and didn't hear any more suspicious noises, he let Gen hold him closer while he drank some of his tea. 

Perhaps the rest of their voyage wouldn't be so bad after all, Senku thought. 


	2. Chapter 2

Somewhere along their journey, Senku spotted land far off in the distance. Something looked wrong, but he didn't know what exactly. Better to leave that to the guy who was captain of the ship, he figured, trying to reason himself out of panicking, as getting worried like that was a waste of energy, after all, and he needed to focus if he wanted to figure out what was going on.

"Ha ha, I knew it! I knew there was land just around the corner! That right there is the Island of Fiji!" Ryuusui yelled at the top of his lungs.

Taiju, being, well, Taiju, yelled right alongside him and Chrome being, well, Chrome, yelled right along with them.

"This is gonna be a long day...." Senku thought to himself, deciding to let Gen sleep until they reached land. At least someone could get some sleep for a while, Senku thought, acknowledging that his boyfriend was a much heavier sleeper than he was. "No point in complaining about it though-" Senku thought when his train of thought was interrupted lighting quick by a group of intellectually limited people leaping-quite literally-over him, way too eager to set foot on land after 30 hours since they had last been on any.

"Alright, time to find treasure!" Yo yelled, whipping out his gun, which he promptly dropped 5 seconds after without realizing it.

"Time to kill the inhabitants!" Magma yelled, whipping out an axe.

"Time to find some cute girls and kill everyone else!" Mozu yelled, whipping out his trademark spear.

"What about-" Hyoga, who was accompanied by Homura, asked Mozu, taking out his own spear in preparation for whatever they might encounter on the island, before being interrupted by Kohaku.

"I don't mind if he has some fun without me sometimes, it's been a while since I got a solid 8 hours of sleep a night consecutively." Kohaku noted in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

Though she claimed not to want to kill anyone, she brandished her knife, stressing the importance of being prepared while Nikki kicked Yo and Magma in the balls (not that it stopped either of them for more than 37.5 seconds, as the pain was no match for the adrenaline rush they got from seeing land again.)

"Ah, this is the life!" Ryuusui announced to no one in particular as Yo, Magma, Nikki, Mozu, Kohaku, Hyoga, and Homura leapt off the ship on to the shore, ready to release some pent-up blood-lust (and other kinds of lust, most likely, at least as far as Mozu, who was already contemplating whether they would find any cute girls there, was concerned.) "Exploring new places, encountering new people, and seducing beautiful women, what could be better than this?" 

"A whole fucking lot of things." Senku thought as he dragged himself off the ship. "Like finding out what caused the petrification incident already so we can go back to Japan and I won't have to deal with these idiots anymore." 

Senku took a deep breath when he set foot on the sandy beach, ignoring the broken statues littering the shoreline.

"Well, except for Gen. And Taiju and Yuzuriha, of course." 

He took another deep breath, running his hand over a stress ball he kept in his pocket and squeezing it. "And Kohaku and Chrome are alright." 

Senku jumped a little after hearing a suspicious "thwack!" sound. 

"Hey, check this out, these guys have spears!" Mozu pointed out to Hyoga, Homura, and Kohaku, who then all tried to steal the spears from the petrified people holding onto them without breaking their statues.

"Damn, it's hard to get them out though." Mozu said, struggling to control his strength so he wouldn't break the statue who was holding onto one of the spears until Hyoga smashed it.

"I thought you said if we break any statues Senku will petrify us again with his sorcery." Mozu said after Hyoga pushed the smashed statue aside by kicking the pieces away.

"Well, if you shut your mouth, there's no reason he needs to find out what happened to the statues, now is there, genius." Hyoga replied, clearly unimpressed by the amount of brain cells Mozu had.

"Yeah, but that's a scummy thing to do." Kohaku added.

"I don't take comments from someone dumb enough to fuck Mozu after being rejected by a man with hair that looks like lettuce." Hyoga spat while Homura wore an unreadable expression on her face.

"Everyone else can rot though." Senku thought despite his good shoulder angel reminding him why they were on this mission in the first place. Oh well, all part of the process, he told himself as he gave his stress ball one last squeeze when he saw Taiju, Yuzuriha, and Gen get off the boat.

"Hey, Senku!" Taiju yelled like he always did. "Where the hell are we now anyways?"

"The island of Fiji." Senku replied, nothing with a slight amount of confusion that Taiju's eyes almost bulged right out of his head when Senku finished speaking. 

"Like the water?" Taiju yelled. "This is where that fancy water they used to sell came from, right? We should see if there's any here!"

Senku squeezed his stress ball in a vain hope of not popping a vein, but it was all for nothing. 

"Yeah, sure." Senku replied, his facial expression doing a complete 180 before continuing. "If only there were still grocery stores around 3700 years after the petrification!" 

Before Senku could pass out from the trauma of dealing with such an advanced level of stupidity, Francois, Ryuusui's dependable, reliable butler, handed Senku a small, round, smooth object. 

"Uh, what's this?" 

"It's called a worry stone." Francois replied. "When you feel anxious or stressed, you can rub the stone to distract yourself. That way you won't have to use your limited strength to squeeze it like you would with a stress ball." 

"Uh, okay, thanks." Senku replied when Francois walked off without another word. 

Senku looked off to the horizon, where he saw Mozu and Hyoga wrestling in a pile of mud without clothes while Kohaku and Homura were furiously scribbling on a sheet of paper as they observed the astoundingly idiotic display of bullshit taking place in front of them and he heard (but didn't see,) Ginrou crying, Kinrou yelling about Ginrou accidentally breaking his glasses, Nikki and Yo arguing about the superiority of seedless watermelons vs. seeded watermelons, and Magma digging a hole to bury Yo's gun in so he could sneak back and steal it for himself later after exploring the island. 

"Just another day in the paradise of this stone world, I guess." Senku thought while he ran his thumb over the smooth stone Francois handed him and asked Taiju to find a large rock. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by the following interesting news story: https://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/australians-have-accidentally-been-eating-a-fish-unknown-to-science/
> 
> And yes, this chapter takes place in Australia.

Senku looked up at the sky. Not a cloud in sight, he noted with more than a little concern. Fresh water was the single most important resource every living thing needed and though there was still some on the ship, there was far from enough of it in the hot, miserable desert Senku and everyone else were stuck in while they tried to find an artifact that was rumored to be able to reverse the personification on people. Though it would, in fact, rain sometime in the next two days thanks to abruptly shifting weather patterns, Senku was naturally unaware of that, so the miserable desert heat did nothing to improve his mood. 

"At least it's a dry heat." Taiju said, slapping Senku on the back. 

Senku turned to look at Taiju, swallowing hard. "If you ever say that again, I'm feeding you to the unidentified fish." 

After Taiju ran away faster than a speeding bullet, Senku wondered what kind of scientific principles would allow such a device to work (if it even existed in the first place,) pondering the implication of such a device actually existing and what would happen if they found it while other people were engaged in far less intellectual pursuits. 

_____

"You'll never get the best of me, you dirty rotten bastard!" Magma yelled, charging towards the angry adult male kangaroo after they had both pissed each other off by existing too close to each other in the wrong place at the wrong time. "Take this!" 

Though Magma put his full effort into his attack (his 13th try, no less) the kangaroo, who had gained super strength thanks to some cursed radiation from an accident involving a nuclear power plant that had exploded a little over 3 millennia ago, managed to hold him back, although not without sustaining some damage.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! You miserable bastard, you'll never-you'll never beat the likes of me! I'm gonna-I'm gonna be-" Magma fell over after being body-slammed by the kangaroo. "I'm gonna be village chief-" he was interrupted when the kangaroo punched him, but kept on going after gouging out one of its eyes in retaliation. "When I get back from this journey, I'm gonna become chief of Ishigami village!" Magma yelled, punching the kangaroo again, spitting out some blood and a tooth. "And I'm not gonna let a motherfucker like you get in my way!"

Magma picked up the kangaroo, hoisting it over his shoulders. "So get the hell outta here you bastard! This'll teach you not to mess with me!"  
Magma tossed the kangaroo, throwing the muscular beast to the ground, basking in his triumph until he felt his back crack. 

_____

"Hey, did you hear something?" Kohaku, one of the last two people with fighting ability left to try to defeat the giant fish who had tried to eat Ginrou, asked Mozu, the other person with fighting ability left, while they each prepared to defeat the scientific anomaly so Francois could cook it later. (Hyoga, never one to help people he considered useless, conveniently disappeared when he saw the fish toss Ginrou into the air and Senku, unaware that Magma got lost an hour ago, started yelling for anyone and everyone available to help fight the giant fish and keep it from eating Ginrou.) 

Mozu glanced behind him, then shrugged. "Eh, I don't think it was anything important. Probably just some wild animals fighting." 

Kohaku paused for a moment, reflecting on something Senku told her a while back around when she first met him. "Yeah, you're probably right." 

The giant fish, a creature of no known species ever documented in the history of humankind, shot out of the ocean like a hyperactive chihuahua on a pogo stick, making an unholy noise as it showed its incredibly ugly mug in the process. For about 12 and a half seconds, Kohaku and Mozu observed the giant fish and its incredible ugliness in complete silence, confused and disturbed in equal measure. 

"Well, here goes nothing." They both thought when the fish noticed them and they prepared to deal with it permanently. 

____

"Hey, Senku, you want some grilled fish?" Gen asked him, sitting down next to his boyfriend with two plates of fish. 

Senku picked up one of the plates, doing his best to ignore a flashback of Ginrou screaming in terror and Yo, Nikki, Homura, and Kinrou all being knocked to the ground in 5 seconds flat as he held the plate in his hand, a small piece of his soul shriveling up like a raisin. 

"Well, food is food." Senku told himself. At least it was fresh. 

"Thanks." Senku told Gen before shoveling a forkful of unidentifiable fish in his mouth. 

"I'm just glad I didn't have to kill it." Gen replied, pausing for a bit to take another bite. "If I never have to see Kohaku and Mozu covered in blood like they just came out of that movie where the chick dumps pig's blood on everyone, though, I'll die happy." 

Senku was still pretty new to the whole being a boyfriend thing so when Gen rested his head on his shoulder, he wasn't quite sure how to respond. In the interest of not risking coming off as callous or uncaring though, he responded anyways. 

"You didn't get hurt, did you?" 

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not crazy enough to get in the way of those two when they're in fighting mode." Gen replied. "I'm just tired, it's been one hell of a day." 

"Ah." Senku relaxed when he felt Gen lean into him, wrapping an arm around him. "I don't blame you one bit." 

"What a nice, quiet night." Senku thought, cuddling with Gen while they watched the sun set, trying his best to ignore the fact that Magma, Yo, Nikki, Homura, Kinrou, and Ginrou were all being treated for their injuries back on the ship and Hyoga, Mozu, and Kohaku were nowhere to be found. Oh well, he told himself. The unidentifiable fish had been dealt with (and also smoked, as Francois had also taken the time to smoke what they couldn't eat that night to preserve it.) Nothing too crazy could happen now, right? 

____

"Holy shit, that was a lot of blood." Kohaku thought, butt ass naked in what could best be described as a tiny cave near an equally tiny stream, desperately trying to get the bloodstains out of her clothes. 

"That was one hell of a-" 

Kohaku waited a moment for Mozu to finish his sentence, but it never came. 

Oh. 

Oh, for fuck's sake, Kohaku thought when she made the mistake of making eye contact with Mozu. 

Ah. Of course. 

"What?" Mozu, who was also butt ass naked, sweaty, covered in blood, and holding a pile of his own bloodstained clothes asked. "I mean, we're both gonna have to clean up later anyways. Might as well take advantage of it while there's the opportunity. Besides, almost everyone else is still on the ship.

Unlike some girls, Kohaku didn't mind dealing with a little violence and the resulting gore that it produced, but of all the locations to run into the guy she made the questionable decision to have post-rejection rebound sex with while butt ass naked, this was possibly one of the worst. Kohaku closed her eyes for a moment, looking around after she opened them. Never in her entire life had she hated the silence so much, since it offered her precious little distraction form the weird, uncomfortable rush of hormones that bowled her over like a truck thanks to the excess of adrenaline still pumping through her veins after the unidentifiable Australian fish incident.

Kohaku wiped off her face, still clutching the towel Yuzuriha had given her a little while ago before going to check on everyone on the ship. She blinked once, tossing the towel to Mozu.

"If anyone finds us tonight, I'm gonna kill you."

"I knew you'd understand, that's why I like your type." Mozu replied after wiping off his face with the other side.

"Don't push it."

"Hey, I just tell the truth, that's all." Mozu added, holding the back of her head in his hand, resting his other hand on the small of her back. 

Naturally, she was going to wash her hair later too, so she ignore the fact that he smeared some blood on it. That shampoo Senku made for her also smelled really nice, she thought when she let Mozu close the gap between their faces by kissing her and she responded by biting on his lower lip while she dug the nails on one of her hands in his back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Stone beach episode? Dr. Stone beach episode.

The sun shone brightly-brighter than Senku ever remembered it shining. 

"So bright...." 

Senku looked around as much as he could manage in his current state. The sky was really very pretty, he had to admit. Such a perfect shade of blue, with nothing to block it out except for a few fluffy looking white clouds that looked like marshmallows or cotton balls. Somewhere else on the pristine beach, Magma tossed a giant ball into the air and when the ball sailed over a line drawn in the sand, Mozu kicked it in mid-air, hitting Magma with hard enough to knock him over.

"Alright, that's another point for team one and one subtracted from team 2!" Ryuusui yelled to nobody in particular. "You're keeping track of this, Francois, right?" he then said to his butler in a reasonable tone of voice.

"Of course, Master Ryuusui." Francois replied, writing down the current score.

"Dammit, I told you not to aim that high!" Nikki yelled at Magma, who reluctantly walked off to stand on the sidelines after he got eliminated from the volleyball/dodgeball hybrid game everyone minus Senku and Hyoga were participating in. (Ryuusui and Francois were the referee and the scorekeeper respectively and Hyoga disappeared immediately after Ryuusui mentioned the words "dodgeball" and "volleyball" within his earshot.)

An ear-splitting yell filled the air, to which Francois responded by plugging their ears for about 15 seconds until it was over. 

"Taiju, don't do anything impulsive! We're evenly matched now, we can still win this!" Yuzuriha, who was chilling on the sidelines after being the third person to be eliminated, reminded Taiju in vain.

"Don't worry, this isn't an angry yell, I'm just hyping myself up!" Taiju pumped his fist before yelling again as soon as he saw the ball heading towards him, grabbing the ball Mozu threw at him, yelling for a solid 30 seconds, prompting Ryuusui to cover his butler's ears for them until Taiju's yelling stopped.

"See, I told you we'd be okay! I got this!" Taiju yelled, still gripping the ball, the veins in his hands bulging thanks to the sheer amount of physical stress he had just been subjected to.

"Are you okay, Francois?"" Ryuusui asked his butler after Taiju stopped screaming.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." Francois replied. "If you want to make yourself useful, you may want to consider helping Magma drag Taiju off the field." Francois continued, gesturing to Taiju, who had passed out, still gripping onto the ball.

Gen, who had been the first person to be eliminated, was wracking his brain trying to remember what he had been thinking about when the ball that the unconscious Taiju was still holding onto, had first hit him about half an hour ago. He had the unfortunate luck of being placed on the opposite team as Mozu, and since Ryuusui was too lazy to make up any rules besides " no weapons allowed and don't kill anyone," no sooner then the eccentric captain gave the signal to start the game did Mozu hurl the ball right in his direction and the glare of the sun reflecting off the ball stunned him so much he passed out before the ball could even get close enough to hit him.

Luckily, Nikki caught the ball before it hit him, but Gen didn't remember that, wondering with an increasing sense of concern why the hell his head hurt so bad. He would go find Senku, he thought, but if he snuck off to go look for him before the second round, Nikki and Magma would most likely toss him into the sea. What a predicament, he thought, sipping on some lemonade Francois made for everyone.

"Oh wow, we're down to two and two, things are getting exciting!" Ryuusui announced after Kohaku clocked Soyuz, leaving Kohaku and Mozu against Homura and Yo.

Ryuusui's enthusiasm, authentic or otherwise, was abruptly shattered like Gen's hopes and dreams of having a life that wasn't stressful when Tsukasa revived him all those months (or years, it was hard to remember,) ago, when Homura noticed in the corner of her eye where Yo's gun was being held and when Francois was busy making some more lemonade, she snuck it to Yo in the blink of an eye and Yo shot the ball just as Mozu had thrown it towards him.

"Ahhhhhh, fuck!" Mozu yelled, his eyes scanning the beach for his weapon. "I'm gonna kill you you ugly ass looking porcupine bastard!"

"Well, if you let me throw it then, I could have hit Homura." Kohaku remarked. "But no, you just had to show off before bothering to think." 

Mozu turned to Kohaku after giving Yo a glare that made the former cop shriek in a suspiciously high-pitched voice in sheer terror. "I was gonna take him out and let you have the last hit, I got rid of that idiot who yells all the time to make it easier, you should be grateful."

"Well, now the ball's broken, now nobody will win!" 

"Well, I wasn't the one who fucking shot it!" 

____

"Ahhh, this is the life." Ryuusui said, sipping his lemonade while he sat in a lawn chair. "The weather's beautiful and my butler makes the best lemonade in the entire world, plus I have my own ship and got to sail to this beautiful island, how could life get any better?"

"Thank you for the praise, Master Ryuusui, but I just do my job as a butler, nothing more, nothing less." Francois replied, master and servant making a mutual decision to ignore the wrestling match occurring between Kohaku and Mozu, who were busy trying to resolve their disagreement over who should throw Yo into the ocean and feed him to the sharks while Homura looked on with an unreadable expression on her face and Nikki and Soyuz decided to go back on the ship to take a nap in their respective bunks.

______

"Hey, Senku, what's wrong?" Gen, who crawled away from the world's most fucked up beach volleyball/dodgeball game to occur in human history while everyone else was distracted by Mozu and Kohaku wrestling to decide who got to feed Yo to the local aquatic predators, Magma and Taiju yelling so loud nobody could even figure out what they were yelling about, and Kinrou yelling an an unconscious Ginrou in an attempt to wake him up after he passed out because he forgot to drink enough water before the game, asked Senku, who was lying on the ground staring straight up because after walking on the beach for 5 minutes on a hot, humid summer afternoon on Hawaii's largest island, Senku ran out of physical stamina and had to stop to rest, trying his best to finish a canteen of water he had. Unfortunately, he had trouble lifting the canteen, as he had already exhausted his stamina. 

"Nothing, I'm just tired, what's wrong with you?" Senku asked Gen once he was finally able to sit up and saw the frazzled expression on Gen's face. 

"Huh, what're you talking about? I'm fine, don't worry about me, Senku." Gen replied, kissing Senku on the cheek in an attempt to distract him from Yo's ear-splitting scream as Mozu and Kohaku tossed him into the ocean, unaware that it wasn't peak shark feeding hours at the time. 

Senku wrapped an arm around Gen but otherwise didn't react to the kiss, sensing that Gen was hiding something from him and wanting to know eactly what it was. "That's ten billion percent bullshit." Senku replied, letting go of Gen for a moment. "What the hell were you guys doing over there?" 

Another scream filled the air as Taiju ripped off his clothes to go jump in the ocean and bring Yo back to shore. " I got you, Mr. dude whose name I don't remember!" 

"Be careful Taiju!" Yuzuriha warned him, running to the deck of the ship, which was nearby but just out of sight, to be able to watch Taiju while he was in the water to keep a closer eye on him, Magma ignoring the whole thing to go ask Francois for more lemonade and Homura sneaking off to go look for Hyoga and Kinrou accompanying Yuzuriha to make sure she would be okay, dragging Ginrou along with him.

"Oh, the meatheads were just playing sports, nothing serious." Gen replied, still sweating a little from leftover nerves. 

"Ugh, Mozu, are you serious, they're gonna come back in 5 minutes, dumbass!" Kohaku yelled, slapping Mozu hard enough that Senku and Gen could hear the sound of flesh hitting skin after he suggested fucking on the beach. "I don't know about that other guy, but the guy who yells all the time can swim really fast." 

"I didn't mean this exact spot on the beach-although it is a pretty nice spot actually-we could sneak back here after those morons are gone." Mozu replied, suppressing a chuckle when he saw Taiju and Yo flailing around in the water because Yo got freaked out by Taiju yelling in his ear and blowing out his eardrums. 

Senku said nothing for a moment as he heard an assortment of things he never asked to hear, hoping to will himself into forgetting it all, disappointed when he realized he wasn't going to be so lucky when he heard Magma scream after accidentally spilling his lemonade all over himself when a crab pinched his foot. 

"Come on, there's no need to worry about those morons, I'm sure they'll be fine. They always do stupid stuff but none of them have died yet. We can leave them alone for a while." Gen told Senku, squeezing his hand. "They won't find us if we take a break behind those trees for a while." Gen continued, gesturing to several nearby trees that were close enough together that if they were behind them, nobody else would be able to see them. 

Senku looked over to the trees, ignoring that he could hear Kohaku threatening to throw more crabs at Magma while Mozu watched the whole thing laughing to himself and Taiju yelled incoherently about something. It was only 3 pm but it had been a pretty long day already. 

"I guess it wouldn't hurt." Senku replied, squeezing Gen's hand back. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang makes an unscheduled pit-stop to Easter Island.

Somewhere else in the great wide world, somewhere Senku regretted leaving sometimes, there were people who were living together, functioning in a healthy way and accomplishing necessary tasks to get things done that needed to be done. 

"Ow, my ass!" 

"Geez, Ginrou, get up and help me move this damn thing already!" 

Senku recalled as clear as the blue sky above him that 1) they originally intended to stop on this island to quickly check to see if they could find more supplies (or so Ryuusui claimed,) and 2) there was no reason to hang around for anything else because there wasn't supposed to be anything or anyone there. 

Lacking anything better to do since all the crew members with any muscle were off hunting, fishing, or otherwise gathering food, Senku and Gen were busy watching Suika while Francois was doing whatever Francois did to stretch their current rations as long as possible. Nothing about this deviated too far from their original plans, or it wouldn't have it if hadn't been 5 whole fucking days with no sight of anyone else and no signs of them until just recently when some rather distressed yelling broke Senku's concentration while he was trying to fix his sextant. 

"Hey, Senku, is that-" 

Gen's question was cut off before he could even dream of finishing it when Senku looked up at him with a look that went ten billion miles past him, revealing absolutely nothing that resembled human emotions in the slightest.

"Hey, I told you to watch it, my ass still hurts from that time back on Treasure Island-" 

A harsh sound of flesh hitting flesh further violated Senku's eardrums as he heard Ginrou and Kinrou, who were apparently the first ones to return to from their ill-fated quest to get some food, were arguing about-

Senku cringed when he heard something and realized that, as much as he wished otherwise, he couldn't deny that he heard the word "hemorrhoids" leave someone's mouth at some point. Apparently Ginrou, the unluckiest of unlucky bastards, had been the one who had to go see minister Ibara when they were on Treasure Island and in desperation and an acute lack of brain cells, had hidden Senku's homemade pineapple bomb up his ass during the incident and after being de-petrified, Ginrou got drunk one night, made some mistakes, and just like that, his past came back to haunt him with a vengeance .

"Ah, of all the guys to return, why did one of them have to be Ginrou?" Gen remarked, sympathizing with his boyfriend. "Well, at least Kinrou's useful, at least when he's wearing his glasses." 

Senku sighed, chucking his sextant to the side when he heard a huge crashing sound and the oddly feminine sound of Ginrou's screams, not realizing that the idiot had accidentally knocked over a Moai statue and crushed the statues of several dozen petrified people that were hidden underground in the process.

Had he been less fatigued and out of it from the troubles of this particular leg of their journey, Senku might have taken a moment to pay his respects to the people who just lost their chance to be revived thanks to Ginrou's clumsiness, but when Kinrou ran towards Senku, Gen, and Suika, huffing and panting from exertion and dragging Ginrou along with one arm behind him, telling them what happened, Senku just closed his eyes for a moment, allowing his thoughts to form in whatever way they saw fit.

At least those dead people wouldn't have to listen to Mozu and Kohaku fucking at 4:30 am, which seemed to be the only time either of them were both in the mood at the same time, or listen to Ryuusui beating his meat uncomfortably close by while sobbing about some woman who hadn't been revived, or accidentally stumble on Homura sucking Hyoga's dick in a cave with blood smears on the walls, or have to shake hands with Magma after he scratched his balls and neglected to wash his hands, or-

It was only when Senku noticed the horrified look on Kinrou's face and Gen covering Suika's ears did Senku realize what he said.

"What? You all knew what you signed up for when you agreed to come along." Senku admitted (well, to be honest, he did feel sorry for Soyuz, as the half of the crew with the least brain cells had taken to rubbing his head for good luck lately and Soyuz was too much of a people-pleaser to tell them to fuck off. And Suika was 9. The rest of them knew what they signed up for though.) 

"That isn't the point!" Kinrou stammered, still holding Ginrou, who had only just lifted his head off the ground a few seconds ago. "The giant statue we found-it could have been something really important-maybe they were the remains of some alien species who lived here before us who got petrified a long time ago by the same thing that caused regular people to get petrified in your time!" 

Oh, of course, Senku thought, the implications of what Kinrou went on about sinking in, as Senku hadn't been listening very closely when Ryuusui started rambling about something when they saw a little speck on the horizon about 5 days ago. "Why did that idiot captain take us here of all places?" Senku thought, as Easter Island had never been a scheduled stop on their journey until approximately 15 minutes before they got there.

______

"Hey, Senku." Senku heard Gen greet him several hours later as he crawled under a large blanket Yuzuriha had sewn for Senku a few days ago and kissed him on the forehead. "Feeling any better?" 

"Not much, unfortunately." Senku admitted, turning to face Gen as he wrapped his arms around him. "But a little bit is ten billion percent better than nothing." he continued, noting to himself that Gen was neither too warm nor too cold-he, like the blanket they were cuddling under, was just right, and even though the rest of his day hadn't been very pleasant, Senku was glad enough for it, realizing that, all things considering, he was ten billion percent more lucky than he could have been. For a few seconds, at least.

"Woo-hoo, this thing still works!" Yo shouted after a bullet ricocheted against the wall behind Senku and Gen a few feet above them, breaking the only window in the tiny abandoned cabin they were in, at which point the door to the cabin broke down when Magma kicked it in. "Told you morons!" 

"Godammit, this humidity's a real pain in the ass." Magma complained, "My balls have been stuck to my legs for 5 days now, no wonder why nobody lives on this fucking island." 

"Well, I have a solution for that." Nikki offered, holding a rusty looking knife. "If you don't move for the next 15 seconds, you'll never have to worry about it again for the rest of your life." she continued before Hyoga snatched the knife out of her hand. 

"That won't do at all, that knife's too dull to slice through butter, you'll want something like this instead." Hyoga offered, handing her a much sharper knife that was still covered in blood.

Senku looked around, despairing when he realized the entrance was also the only usable exit. Where was that mildly useful himbo Taiju when he needed him, Senku thought, hoping that the blood on Hyoga's knife didn't belong to his morally outstanding but intellectually bankrupt friend. When Magma started wrestling Yo for his gun and Homura clung to Hyoga, stroking his sweaty, blood-covered abs (the blood didn't belong to any of them, Senku noted as none of them had any visible injuries...yet,) Senku and Gen shared a look, Gen nodding to let Senku know he would distract the muscle of their group while Senku went to get Taiju, and when the opportunity showed itself, Senku didn't hesitate for a millisecond.

Yes, Gen really was one of the best people he had ever met, Senku thought as shouts, screams, and gunshots filled the night air as the starts in the sky twinkled above him. Spending life with him after discovering the cause of the petrification incident and reviving everyone sounded nothing less than perfectly pleasant, Senku thought, but in order for that to have even a fraction of a percent of a chance of happening, Senku needed to find Taiju and Taiju needed to find a large rock, preferably in 15 minutes or less like those weird car insurance commericals that Senku remembered hearing back in his old life. Oh well, Senku told himself when he found the tiny hut Taiju and Yuzuriha decided to settle in for the night, all in a day's work after an unscheduled pitstop, Senku told himself, tapping his knuckles against the thin wooden door.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally reaching their ultimate destination, the gang has an eventful ride up the Amazon River.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While it's not necessary to understand what's going on, if you've ever watched Metalocalypse, specifically the episode where Dethklok goes to the Amazon jungle, this will make more sense.

After a rough voyage, the gang, all-Senku looked around, rubbing his eyes. How many of them were there again? He didn't know, and he was too embarassed to ask Ryuusui, so he pushed it to the back of his mind, still looking around. Gen was nearby, and so were Taiju and Yuzuriha, all three of them chatting with other people, so nothing too bad could have happened, Senku reminded himself. Senku took a deep breath, noting and appreciating the refreshing scent of flowers and plants in a pristine, unspoiled natural environment. Tsukasa may have been an unhinged political extremist who was now in a homemade freezer in the middle of a forest in Japan, but he was certainly right about nature being beautiful.

"Ah, nothing like some good jungle air-" Magma, who was sunning himself on a lawnchair on the main deck, said, ignoring the man walking towards him holding a plate of sandwiches. "the wind just whistling through-"

"Hey, Francois made everyone sandwiches-ewwwwww, Magma, gross!!!!!" Chrome, who had been holding a plate of sandwiches, promptly dropped them on the ship deck, screaming in horror after he got an eyeful of something unfathomably unpleasant.

"Aw, man,Magma,what the fuck is wrong with you?" Yo blurted out after walking by and getting an eyeful of the same unfathomable horror that poor Chrome had been forced to bear witness to.

"God, you are so repressed." Magma asked, shrugging. "Can't a man get some sunlight once in a while?"

"It's got nothing to do with repressed!" Yo yelled, his face twisted in a grimace as he was unable to bear the mental strain of what he just saw.

"How about this, I solve the problem, put your fucking pants back on!" Chrome hollered, smashing the now-empty plate by dropping it on the floor.

Senku inhaled to a count of five, knowing that logically, there was no good reason to look over at the disaster unfolding several feet behind him but struggling with the temptation to give in to his morbid curiosity regardless. 

"Don't do it, it's ten billion percent not worth it." Senku told himself, trying as hard as he could to ignore the increasingly loud shouting of the three men arguing behind him.

"Okay, your weiner," Yo went on, much to Senku's annoyance.

"What?!" Magma yelled. 

"It's disgusting, it looks all gnarled, it looks like you stuck it in a hornet's nest or something!" 

"Yeah, and I happen to-" 

Senku clapped his hands over his ears for a moment, unwilling to hear the end of that particular sentence. "Just breathe, don't look back, just breathe." he told himself, beads of sweat forming on his forehead as his frustration built.

"Yeah, but I don't need to look at it!" Yo yelled back. 

"Ugh, what is this, it's like amazon boat church or something!" Magma continued, not knowing when to let something go. "Can I please just take a leak before I pull my pants back up, can I do that?" 

"Ugh, fine, go ahead, just promise to never do that again." Yo went on, Chrome grimacing in disgust as Magma took a piss off the side of the ship. 

"Oh, now I can see your ass, it's disgusting, it looks like-" 

Just when Senku thought he was safe, he heard something so awful, he was glad he had been too busy working on another one of his experiments and skipped lunch as a result. He was already slightly underweight, but what did that matter, he told himself as the yelling and shouting behind him went from annoying and disgusting to worse.

"Hey, quick question, do you shave your ass?" Chrome shouted. "It looks like there's a lot of stubble going on down there." 

"Uh, quick answer, fuck you!" Magma yelled back.

"Dude, work out or something, you can't skip leg day, that's how you get a-" 

Luckily for Senku, a sudden thump sound cut off the last part of his sentence. 

"-It's a problem area-" 

Unuckily, it wasn't enough, because the trio of morons never let a bad conversation go, apparently, Senku thought, throwing his head in his hands while he mentally admitted defeat. "I can't take any more of this bullshit." Senku thought, the last coherent thought he had before being rudely shook by the sound of Magma screaming and the unmistakable sound of the ship crashing.

_____

For better or for worse, Senku didn't die or suffer any lasting harm, as Taiju caught him and Yuzuriha, shielding them with his body and Soyuz shielded Gen from the worst of it. Islanders really did seem more durable than mainlanders, Senku noted, as Mozu and Soyuz were the only people besides Taiju and Kohaku who remained unscathed from the abrupt end to their not-so-luxurious river cruise of sorts.

"Ugh, my head." Ryuusui moaned, rubbing his head a little while he looked around. "My poor ship, she was my favorite too. Named her after my girl who died during the petrification too." he went on while Francois, his loyal butler, who happened to sense the disaster before it happened and put on a helmet beforehand, checked him for signs of a concussion. Much to their relief, they found their master to be fine besides some superficial scratches and bruises. 

Senku neither knew nor cared what Ryuusui was talking about, but he was relieved that the captain could still speak in full, coherent sentences, and, upon looking around, breathed a sigh of relief when he realized the ship had suffered far more damage than any of its occupants.

"Well, there's only one thing to do now." Ryuusui, the adventure-loving capitalist with a lust for satisfying his curiosity that far outstripped the number of brain cells he had, announced, unaware that Hyoga and Homura had leapt off the ship several miles back and fucked off somewhere thanks to an abandoned primitive raft they found. 

If that was really the case, Senku thought to himself as he found himself in the middle of a giant canoe that Mozu, Kohaku, and Soyuz had pushed up the side of a huge mountain, why even bother, his last coherent thoughts passed through his mind as he and Gen held onto each other for dear life as everyone on the ship suddenly felt something move under them in the worst way once everyone sat in the canoe and suddenly the earth rushed up to meet them.

_____

"Woah, what the hell is this? Where are we?!" Taiju yelled as Senku noted with a creeping sense of horror that not only had some hostile people approached them but Mozu was talking with them in a language Senku didn't recognize while Soyuz nodded along like he understood what they were talking about. Even Ryuusui, who had been around the world before the petrification incident, replied that he had no idea what sort of language Mozu and the natives were speaking when Senku asked him.

After a brief moment of waving spears and a few hand gestures later, everyone stopped speaking, the natives pointing upwards at something Senku didn't notice until Mozu told Ryuusui something and the captain nodded, telling everyone to look up. 

In a single moment, tilting his head up to get a better look, Senku felt a layer of sweat suddenly form on his skin and a distinct mix of confusion and fear envelop him in their grasp as he noticed a giant stone statue that was shaped exactly like him.


End file.
